Give People Understanding

How do you react to people offending you?  Our instinct is self preservation  so normally we either flee or fight.  Meaning, we usually try to avoid someone who causes us pain, or we fight back.    As I have reflected just very recently when someone tried to offend me, I realized that we need not follow the “eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth” route to self preservation. There is a better way, which is more positive and peace loving.

No, I am not trying to preach here.  Nor will I try to suggest something spiritual. (although those are good suggestions too).

What I have discovered recently is, if we try to feel ill and  bitter towards people who offend us, it doesn’t make us win the fight.  We end up being losers because feeling negative or doing something negative will never make us feel better with ourselves.   Instead it will drive us to feel   more hate, and to have inner turmoil that doesn’t seem to leave.

A good suggestion is UNDERSTANDING.

What is understanding?

“Understanding someone means to have the ability to empathize with that person – being able to think in the lines of the what the other person is thinking, being able to reason out what transpired in someones mind before doing what he/she has done.”

When we understand someone, we feel the intentions of that person and would give us a clearer perspective of where that person is coming from.

Has this person said something negative about you? Perhaps this person has not really come to know you better.  Has this person tried to  exclude you, then maybe she chose to be with someone she felt more  comfortable to be around.  Has this person gossiped about you? Then maybe she is feeling inner turmoil herself  that she needs to sort them out by discussing them with others.

Most of the time, it is not really about you.   Other person my do something just because of who they are, and not because of anything that we might have caused.

What I do if I start to feel offended is ask myself, does this person or this situation really have an impact in the next 5 years of my life?   If I lose this person  will I become less version of myself?

I usually get a NO for an answer and then when I come to terms with these facts, I feel so much better.

Most of the time, it is how we react to the things that happen to us that  impacts  our life.  We need to be POSITIVE in our approach as much as possible.

It has helped me, I hope it will help you too.

BE HAPPY!