One day very recently I felt that everything in me was a mess. My car was broken, my work was giving me so much problems and there was this one person who was giving me so much heartache. I felt like all I liked in my life the past few months have been slowly taken away from me just because of stupid minute things. Like I have lost my direction and I felt stomped. I was very tired because I was very busy doing so much things and feeling unappreciated most of the time.
Guess what? It was just a feeling. A feeling I have nursed for a day! All those things were just perceptions from a really frantic person who seemed to have lost faith.
I watched The Martian movie last night and I liked what he said in the end. He said – in my own words and not verbatim- , “ if you are there on space, a thought of dying and not being able to make it will come to your mind. You will feel that you are going to die. But then if you want to survive, you just need to survive. Just do the math and solve one problem at a time”.
I totally agree! After feeling hopeless and helpless and totally at the bottom because of people and circumstances, we rise and we come out of the rut, one step at a time. Exactly – one problem at a time.
The person left alone in Mars was left behind staying there for more than a year! He didn’t die! He didn’t get bored. He got busy instead solving his problems one at a time.
What happened to me? After being in the rut for a day?
I made some life changing realizations which I wouldn’t be able to have, had I not experience that moment of confusion. I solved and dealt with one situation after another – doing a complete housecleaning. I established my priorities and asked myself which among the things crowding my life are essential? Other things (and people) I have to give up and let go. I made big decisions that changed my life, but changed it for the better. I gained new eyes and new perspective on things, realizing that nothing superficial is worth spending my time with. I saw the superficial people, superficial causes and activities that eat so much of my time — and superficial relationships too that needed to go.
I needed to pick my battles and choose the things that matter in my life. I started emerging into being a new person, who do not like to be used and abused anymore. My new set of eyes gave me a realization that I spent so much wasted time being with people who weren’t even building me up. I said yes to everyone and shared whatever I could share. I was too nice! How could I be so generous that nothing was left of me? I was too available, too giving — in exchange of nothing. I ended up tired, betrayed and abused. (and copied! Ha,ha,! That is another story).
Right now, I feel so much better and so much happier with less! Less activities, less commitments, less worries, less friends, less expectations. It’s a more pruned life. Simple yet focused. I feel so much lighter and happier!
The biggest lesson I have learned because of that experience is, NOTHING really lasts forever.
We cannot be a child forever, we cannot be a teenager forever, we cannot be still forever. WE have to grow, evolve, leave something behind and welcome new things and people.
So while we have these moments now, we need to enjoy, and savour every single thing. While preparing too that one day, we will leave this phase and start another phase again.
The Martian came home and outlived his problems. He came out better, braver and wiser.
We can be that Martian too – and even so much better! J
The Life We Live 