I drive my own car and I have a gasoline card with substantial allowance provided for me. This was given to me with the design to provide me convenience to load up gas anytime, anywhere. Knowing all these facts, you will guess I will never run out of gas. Perhaps you will say, “lucky her” for having this provided for me.
However, as shameful as it is for me to admit, I always run out gas. Sadly I run out of gas when I am either in the middle of a traffic jam, or in a place where there is no gasoline station in sight. More often than not, I end up paying for cash (which I cannot reimburse) and gassing at very minimal amount just so I can reach the nearest gas station which accommodates my card. It is very stressful whenever I am in that situation and in effect consumes most of my time and energy.
For those who do not know of this gas privileges of mine, they would think, I am either broke or in some sort of a financial problem for being out of gas all the time.
The truth is, I am just plain lazy. I am too lazy to line up the car for gas, and too lazy to wait for the gasoline station to process my transaction.
Whenever I find myself seeing the “red sign” in the gas guage, I will always resolve that next time, I will do better and will nolonger wait for the gas tank to get empty before I will gas up. Those resolves have never been followed, and up to this day, I still find myself going back to that situation over and over again. I never learned.
This morning I got a spiritual aha! moment, while driving home from my daughter school and looking at my gas meter and seeing the gas ‘half full’. I told myself automatically in my head ‘ to gas up’ or else, I will have an empty tank again and I will have problems again just like the last time.
Right after I blurted that to myself, I heard another voice telling me to ‘gas up’ before it is too late. Then I remember how I always put off my prayer time, and quiet times, and the opportunities to get right with the Lord because I get lazy and complacent. I think that since I am not yet experiencing problems as of this time, I can still live on without the Lord, because I am ‘still doing okay’. I often times have that resolve to really be serious with the Lord, yet always telling myself, ‘well I am still halfway full’ ” there is still time for me to gas up”. Only to find out (as for others in the same situation) that their lives are already empty and are hopeless.
AS I reflected, my gasoline habit has extended to my spiritual life. I have been negligent and lazy to spend time with the Lord daily. The Lord really wants us to get close to HIM and to achieve that, it means we have to spend time with the Lord daily. I just told my daughter last night while studying that she should always pray at night to thank the Lord for all the blessings He has given her. I also told her that more importantly in the morning, pray again for sustenance because “God’s grace is new every morning”.
Then it hit me, we should not bank on prayers from last week, prayers from the other day, even prayers from yesterday. God’s grace is only for a day, and we need to claim that grace every single day, because ‘His Grace is new every morning”.
Here are the things I have learned because of this reflection of mine today.
1. People generally have everything that we need. We are supplied with grace, forgiveness, abundance, comfort through God’s grace. Yet we do not do something about it to claim it until our ‘gas tank gets empty’ and we cry to the Lord already out of desperation instead of thanksgiving. We do not cling to GOd, we do not pray, not until we are already at our bottom pit. We remember to go to God ONLY when we are aready stuck in the middle of a bad situation, when we are already broken, when we are already in a mess. Sometimes, we even have to shell out some of ourselves (like how I pay cash instead of having my gas for free) as consequences of our actions.
2. If we only just follow the Lord, not get bad behavior and habits get into us (like laziness to gas using my card, at the appropriate time), we could have enjoyed a ‘full’ a ‘free; a ‘happy’ and an ‘abundant’ life only possible if we have the Lord Jesus in our life.
3. THe Lord design is for us to live a life full of conveniences and joy and most of the time, the bad habits natural to men, are what causes us to cause so much heartache and pain in our lives. A far cry from God’s original design for us.
So today, I will not wait for my life to get empty. I have resolved to go back to Him when life is still half full. When life is still rosy and not empty. I shall praise and get right with HIM because a full tanked life is all we need to aim for.
No more red empty signs from now on, I will try my best, by the grace of God, to be always full to the brim, to always be full tanked! No more empty gas tanks, no more empty lives.
*reflection after the sermon of Ptr Jovy Soriano at CCF Cebu Marriot Service*
The Life We Live 