Three days ago as I was driving my 7year old daughter Nicole to one of her classes, she happily announced that she already knew what she wanted to ask Santa for this year’s christmas.
You see, we started this tradition many years ago about writing a letter to ‘Santa’ and making known all the wish list for christmas.
In my daughter’s old Montessori pre school, the teachers would actually spend time asking the kids what they wanted — making them write three wishes for christmas — and sending the letters to Mom and Dad to buy. On their christmas parties, the school would hire a caucasian looking ‘Santa claus’ to distribute the gifts which ‘Santa’ got for them.
For many christmases in our families, this tradition has been among our christmas highlights. I found it cute then, and seeing the kids (especially our only child Nicole) opened her gifts with glee, was for us a priceless sight! There was something about Santa that’s magical for the kids.
On our first christmas ‘writing to Santa’, Nicole requested for A book, a blanket, and a toy. Then ahe requested for more inexpensive items following that year.
One time we went to HK a few days before christmas and we missed her school’s Santa gift giving event. In the plane on our way home Nicole mentioned about her wondering if Santa gave her gift to the teacher since she wasn’t at the party when Santa visited. Because I wanted to make her very happy, despite being very tired from our trip, I sneaked out of our house and went to nearby Ayala Mall to get her ‘Santa’s gift’. I got her an Oshkosh dress.
When she woke up there was already a LETTER FROM SANTA telling her that santa never forgotten about her and that Santa thought she was a very good girl all throughout the year – thus ‘He’ is rewarding her with a gift!
Last year Nicole didnt write a letter to Santa for gifts, instead, she wrote a very loong letter requesting Santa to please provide food, house and clothes for the victims of typhoon yolanda. I was relieved because I didnt have to buy her an extra gift and more importantly i was amazed by the kind of heart she has.
I thought I was doing the right thing by making her believe on this Santa Ilussion. I thought I was being good Mom making her happy this way.
I thought wrong.
Fast forward to our conversation in the car, Nicole said, this year is the goigg to be the best year ever! She said she was going to ask Santa for (3) roundtrip tickets for the US! She said she wanted first class and the one with a bed and a lounge on the plane!
I told her, what if Santa cannot afford that? How will you feel?
Then she said “of course santa can afford that! He can give me anything that I want – If I am good”.
I said ” what if there is a chance he would give you something else ?” ( Mommy can definitely NOT afford first class tickets to the US).
Nicole said (still chirppy) ” if Santa will not give me that, it’s okay, it means I wasn’t good enough the whole uear to deserve that”.
Upon hearing this, I realized all these ideas I have been feeding my child is all distorted. I have decided right there and then that soon, I was going to break it to her the reality about Santa whether it breaks her heart or not.
As christians, I realized that I should NOt teach my child to believe things that are not true to my own amusement. I justified before that Santa’s truth will come by itself when Nicole’s bigger and that just like me during my time, It will not be a big deal.
But upon seeing how seriously Nicole is taking all these Santa thing (yes virginia, I was that effective), I had a feeling that if I won’t break it to her NOw it will create a bigger damage.
So I started by saying ” what if you will discover that Santa is not true?”
Nicole’s eyes grew BIG and WIdE and she was looking at me with great disbelief. My first reaction was to CHICKEN OUT! I wasn’t ready yet, so I said “I was only joking”. And she broke into a smile after ahe blurted “Mom!!!”. Then she said “Of course there is a Santa” ” He loves me and gives me presents every single christmas!”.
I was really gettigg worried about the whole thing but decided to push it away from my mind while I tried to device some strategies to break it gently.
Last night, when I arrived home I decided it was time.
I told her simply that there is something she needs to know. Kids going on 8 should already move from being small kids to bigger kids so she has to learn a few truths that only big kids will understand.
I told her Santa is not true. He is only a character like Mickey, Donald, Lalaloopsy!
Upon hearing this Nicole said “No it couldnt be true” she said how come she got all those letters and those presents from Santa?
I said ” Mommy and Daddy bought them for you to make your christmas more fun”
Then Nicole said “Dadddy!!!!!! ”
She ran to her Dad and asked him if it was true. My husband who was doing paper work just simply said “yes Santa is not true”.
I could see the confusion and the hurt in Nicole’s eyes and regretted why I ever made her believe of such lie.
Then she said “you tricked me”
Then I told her I was sorry for making her believe about Santa but told her Mommy thought it wasnfor fun coz i also had the same thing when I was small.
This made her feel better and asked me to tell her how was it like during my time.
Nicole shed so many tears because of this. I felt for a moment that I stole some pf the wonders she had as a child. I was worried for a moment if she was still going to look forward to christmas now that the cat is put of the bag.
Her reaction was similar to a child being told that she’s adopted for the first time. (for the record NIc is nOt adopted—- this statement is only an analogy of the kind of reaction she has).
Anyway I felt also that since this was my doing I took the chance to reinforce The truths about Jesus in her life.
I told her “what if Someone tells you jesus is not true?”
She said ” is there a possibility of Jesus not being real too”
I answered ” no! Not possible. You see the truth about Jesus is in the bible” evergthing written in the bible is true.
Can we find anything in the bible about Santa?
She said ” none at all”
So I told her, now that you are bigger you should see christmas in a new different light. Christmas should be a day of thanksgiving to God for sending us HiS only son.
Nicole slept well last night and I am sure she understood.
I am glad i made this decision to tell her the truth.
The Life We Live 